FAQs
There are many questions that people ask. Frequently. Like: why isn’t there a 99p coin? Think how useful it would be. Why is there a 'best by' date on sour cream? And the ‘big one’: why are we here... instead of, say, over there...
Scientists insist that no two snow crystals are alike. But how do they know? They haven’t seen them all. Have Waggon Wheels got smaller over the years, or is it just that we've got bigger? Why don't film censors get depraved and corrupt? Why on earth do we have to wait '28 days for delivery'? Most baffling of all: whatever happened to the Bermuda Triangle? In the 1970s ships and planes were vanishing on a daily basis. And now it's disappeared. Just like that. Weird...
Some road signs ask questions rather than provide answerts. What's the point of being told you're about to cross a 'weak bridge'? It makes a driver uncomfortable, but doesn't tell him what to do. Should he speed up, or slow down? Should he turn round and find another route? The same applies to signs warning drivers about 'falling rocks', which just makes people paranoid and nervous...
Some questions are easy to answer, because, by default, there is only one possible response. Next time you're taking part in a pub quiz, remember that the ‘literary prize’ is always the Booker. The ‘art prize’ is always the Turner. The ‘medieval writer’ is always Chaucer... if only because no-one outside academia would be able to name another medieval writer. The ‘famous diarist’, likewise, is always Samuel Pepys. The ‘comet’ is always Halleys. The ‘garden designer’ is always Lancelot ‘Capability’ Brown...
Scientists insist that no two snow crystals are alike. But how do they know? They haven’t seen them all. Have Waggon Wheels got smaller over the years, or is it just that we've got bigger? Why don't film censors get depraved and corrupt? Why on earth do we have to wait '28 days for delivery'? Most baffling of all: whatever happened to the Bermuda Triangle? In the 1970s ships and planes were vanishing on a daily basis. And now it's disappeared. Just like that. Weird...
Some road signs ask questions rather than provide answerts. What's the point of being told you're about to cross a 'weak bridge'? It makes a driver uncomfortable, but doesn't tell him what to do. Should he speed up, or slow down? Should he turn round and find another route? The same applies to signs warning drivers about 'falling rocks', which just makes people paranoid and nervous...
Some questions are easy to answer, because, by default, there is only one possible response. Next time you're taking part in a pub quiz, remember that the ‘literary prize’ is always the Booker. The ‘art prize’ is always the Turner. The ‘medieval writer’ is always Chaucer... if only because no-one outside academia would be able to name another medieval writer. The ‘famous diarist’, likewise, is always Samuel Pepys. The ‘comet’ is always Halleys. The ‘garden designer’ is always Lancelot ‘Capability’ Brown...